The Radically Well Podcast · Season 2, Episode 4
Krista Williams on Divorce, Saturn Return and Leaving the Life That Looked Perfect
Krista Williams, co-host of the Almost 30 podcast, left a ten-year marriage, started dating again and published her first book, all in the same season of life. She and Rosie Acosta talk about meeting change with curiosity instead of fear, the hardest part of writing a book, escaping the prison of body obsession, and healing the mother wound.
Meeting change with an opportunity mindset
Rosie and Krista have been friends for years, since well before Krista and her co-host Lindsey Simcik wrote Almost 30: A Definitive Guide to a Life You Love for the Next Decade and Beyond. In that time Krista has left her marriage, spent a year single, started dating again and watched her business and friendships change shape. For most of her life, she says, the suffering came from resisting growth. Now she tries to meet it with an opportunity mindset rather than a fear mindset.
The conversation moves through dating after divorce, the timing of big dreams, what authenticity means when you keep changing, the Saturn return, years of body obsession, and the mentors and therapy that helped her find her way. Rosie brings her own perspective from the other side of perimenopause.
What this episode covers
- Dating after divorce, and letting go of seeing every man as a rescuer
- Why every relationship can be a vehicle for growth
- Trusting the timing of your life, and teaching only what you live
- Why promoting a book can be harder than writing it
- Authenticity is not staying the same: why changing is the most honest thing you can do
- What a Saturn return is, and how it exposed Krista’s relationship with her body
- How purpose and acceptance loosened years of body obsession
- Therapists, coaches and the work of healing the mother wound
Dating after divorce, without a transaction
Krista was in a relationship for ten years before she and her husband divorced. She spent the first year fully single, tried dating apps for about six months, and then decided she only wanted to meet people in person. At first, she admits, she looked at every man, even a barista, as a potential husband. She realized she had been relating to men transactionally: will you make me feel safe, will you provide for me, will you save me? She had to learn to see men simply as people before she could really meet anyone.
Being in a new relationship, she says, brings up fear in a way it did not when she was younger. Her practice now is to ask what the fear is helping her heal. Every person she has dated has shown her something: where she is small, where she negotiates her boundaries and what she still needs to work on.
Trust the timing, and live what you teach
Years ago, Rosie asked Krista whether she would ever write a book. At the time Krista was working a corporate job while touring the world with the podcast, and she was burned out. The answer was no. When the book did come, the timing was right: the business had been simplified and she felt she could write from experience rather than theory. Her belief is that no opportunity has ever come to her at the wrong time, and that teaching from a place you are not living does a disservice to everyone.
Both women agree the hardest part was promotion, not writing: putting yourself out there and finding out who shows up. Krista’s anchor was a simple question: what do I know to be true? Her answer was that this book would have changed her life at almost 30. Rosie’s lesson from her own book was to rely on yourself and be choosy about who is part of the process.
Being yourself includes changing
Krista calls honesty a form of spiritual protection: being clear about where you are and who you are prevents a lot of trouble. Being yourself, she says, is an act of bravery, and even one friend you can be completely yourself with can become a blueprint for the rest of your life. She once felt ashamed that she did not have one lifelong group of girlfriends, until she accepted that deep transformation is part of who she is, and that her relationships would change with her.
Authenticity, in her view, does not mean staying the same. We are meant to evolve. What stays constant is the core thread of who you are; she found it in stories she wrote as a child. Her soul, she says, will do what it is going to do, including leaving a marriage that no longer fits. The more she accepts what is happening as meant for her growth, the freer she feels.
From body obsession to purpose
The chapter readers respond to most is about the body. In astrology, the Saturn return is the period when Saturn returns to the position it held at your birth, and Krista describes it as a time that exposes where your life is out of alignment. For her, it exposed a lifelong prison of counting calories, macros and steps. What loosened it was finding her purpose, and a moment of surrender in which she accepted herself as she was. She connects that to Carl Rogers’s idea that you have to accept something to change it. Leaving a relationship that kept her in fight or flight helped too, and she recommends Geneen Roth’s Women, Food and God and work on the mother wound.
Rosie shares the shame she felt gaining weight in perimenopause while teaching self-love, and wondering whether that made her a fraud. Both talk about the people who helped them grow. Krista’s therapist became her model of what emotional safety feels like, and a coach helped her step into her purpose and release codependent patterns. On their mothers, Krista’s advice is to let go of who you wanted your mother to be and see her as a person.
This conversation is educational and is not a substitute for therapy. If you are struggling with your relationship to food, your body or your family, a qualified mental health professional can help.
Timestamps
Times refer to the YouTube video.
| 00:00 | Introduction: change, tension and growth |
| 02:01 | Dating after divorce |
| 04:02 | Letting go of transactional relationships |
| 06:02 | Writing a book, and trusting the timing of your life |
| 10:04 | Teaching only what you live |
| 12:05 | Rosie on perimenopause, identity and growing older |
| 14:06 | Honesty as spiritual protection |
| 16:07 | Authenticity means you are allowed to change |
| 18:09 | Outgrowing friendships without shame |
| 20:11 | “My soul is going to do what it’s going to do” |
| 22:12 | Believing what you teach |
| 24:14 | Why promoting a book is the hardest part |
| 28:17 | Learning who shows up |
| 32:20 | Saturn return and the body chapter |
| 34:21 | Rosie on body shame and self-love |
| 38:24 | Reclaiming your body and finding purpose |
| 42:25 | The mother wound, and a message to her 27-year-old self |
| 44:25 | Krista at her second Saturn return |
| 46:26 | Therapists, coaches and mentors |
| 50:26 | Healing the mother wound |
| 58:33 | Seeing your mother as a person |
| 1:00:35 | Where to find Krista |
Explore the conversation
Questions explored in this episode
What is a Saturn return?
In astrology, the Saturn return is the period, usually in your late twenties, when Saturn returns to the position it held when you were born. Krista Williams describes it as a time that shines a light on where your purpose, relationships or career are out of alignment.
How do you start dating again after a divorce?
Krista spent a year fully single first, then tried the apps before choosing to meet people in person. Her biggest shift was to stop treating every man as a potential husband or rescuer, and to approach each connection as an opportunity to learn something about herself.
How do you stop obsessing about your weight?
For Krista, three things helped: finding a purpose bigger than her body, accepting herself as she was rather than waiting to change first, and leaving a situation that kept her stressed. She also recommends Geneen Roth’s book Women, Food and God and working on the mother wound.
What is the mother wound?
It describes the patterns left by your early relationship with your mother. Krista notes that because a mother is our first source of nourishment, those patterns can shape how we feed and care for ourselves. Part of healing, she says, is seeing your mother as a person rather than the mother you wanted.
Why work with a therapist or a coach?
Krista’s therapist taught her what safety and emotional vulnerability feel like, and a coach she worked with for three years helped her step into her purpose and release codependent patterns. She points out that most of the successful people she knows have some form of mentor or coach.
How can you be authentic if you keep changing?
Krista’s view is that authenticity means following what feels true for you now, not staying the same forever. We are meant to evolve. What stays constant is the core thread of who you are, which you can often find in who you were as a child.
There is nothing braver than listening to the call of your soul.
Rosie offers mindfulness coaching grounded in self-compassion, with practical tools for anxiety, burnout and the emotional side of change. Coaching is available in English and Spanish.
This episode is a personal conversation and is educational in nature. It does not replace care from a qualified healthcare or mental health professional.