How To Find Happiness On Your Own Terms

Do you ever look at your peers and colleagues and feel left behind? It's easy to compare ourselves with others and feel dissatisfied with our lives. If we could only have these achievements and do what our peers have done, we'd finally be happy, right? Don't be swayed by other people's expectations and accomplishments; your happiness is yours to define. 

In today's episode of Wisdom Wednesday, Tessa Tovar and Rosie talk about defining happiness on our own terms. They talk about the ideas and mindsets that keep us from being happy and how we can break free from them. Listen as Tessa and Rosie share how to attract true happiness and live a radically-loved life. 

If you’re unsatisfied with your life and want to find happiness, then this episode is for you!

Here are three reasons why you should listen to the full episode:

  1. Learn what prevents you from being happy. 

  2. Find out how to break free from other people's expectations and timelines.

  3. Discover the power of visualization to attract happiness into your life. 

Resources

  • Order Rosie’s book, You are Radically Loved and join the book club! We’re holding monthly sessions starting May 6, 2022. Register here!  

  • Have a specific topic in mind? Email us at info@radicallyloved.com. Don’t forget to add the subject Wisdom Wednesday topic!

Episode Highlights

[2:29] How Comparison Kills Happiness 

Our mind’s default is to focus on the negative, the worst-case scenario, and what we don’t have.  It’s easy to compare ourselves to others through Instagram and social media posts. 

Remember, we're all human beings with ups and downs. You don't know what's happening in someone's life, even if it looks happy from the outside. 

Comparison is the biggest joy kill. 

[04:18] “Comparison is the biggest joy kill and it's a quick way for us to start to feel bad about ourselves.” - Click Here to Tweet This

[04:24] Integrity in Social Media

Rosie shares that social media is saturated with dishonesty. Many people are untruthful about what they sell and portray. It's better to be direct and honest with your communication to build trust. 

You need to know the level of openness that’s comfortable for you. If you value privacy, being too open may be detrimental to your mental health. 

[10:55] Learn Self-Recognition for Happiness

Even for people who pursue money for the sake of money, there's an underlying belief that the pursuit is for happiness. Question your intention in everything you do. 

[13:16] “At the end of the day, it's a reminder to question our intention and remember why it is that we're doing what we're doing…Why are we showing up? What are we offering? Where's it coming from?”  - Click Here to Tweet This

When setting a goal for yourself, ask whether it will make you happy or if you just think it will.

Develop a deep level of self-appraisal and self-recognition. Find a balance between your ego and self-esteem to assess your situation honestly. 

[14:27] “Too much ego will cause you to suffer. Low self-esteem, which is on the opposite end of the spectrum, will create suffering. So you have to find that balance between that middle path where you can honestly assess where you are and why you're doing what you're doing.” - Click Here to Tweet This

[15:02] How to Attract Happiness

We often externalize happiness by thinking we need certain things in order to be happy. Rosie recommends practicing intention when you visualize an achievement. You don't only create time to focus on it; you also visualize feelings when you achieve it. 

Remember that the high you experience while visualizing achievements is not real. This feeling is how you manifest and attract situations. 

[23:09] Free Yourself from a Timeline

We often create a timeline of things we need to accomplish by a certain age. Cultural norms and expectations heavily impact this timeline. These benchmarks often go unachieved because we don't need them to be happy. 

First, take a breath and check in with yourself. Remember: you have a choice; it's never too late to go after something. Second, return to dreaming and imagination. You can do this with visualization.    

[27:42] How to Practice Visualization

[27:23] “The ability to imagine, the ability to be steadfast and consistent in our practice — and then boom, we're able to perform.” - Click Here to Tweet This

Think about goals that create a level of excitement and joy. Practice self-compassion and remember that there’s no timeline for happiness. 

[28:13] “Continue to practice self-compassion. It's important to also give ourselves the time and space, there is no timeline for happiness.” - Click Here to Tweet This

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To feeling radically loved,

Rosie

Rosie AcostaBIPOC Mindfulness Teacher, Latinx, Meditation Teacher, Hispanic Meditation Teacher, BIPOC Meditation